emotional inconsistency

He Is Hot and Cold — The Emotional Whiplash That Makes You Question Yourself More Than Him

When someone says “he is hot and cold,” they’re not describing mystery—they’re describing instability. They’re talking about a man who texts passionately one week and disappears the next, a man who tells you he misses you then acts like you’re an inconvenience, a man who makes you feel chosen and rejected in the same breath. The confusion doesn’t start with heartbreak; it starts with the slow erosion of clarity. You replay conversations, over-analyze silence, and rationalize behavior you would tell your friends to run from. This essay unpacks the emotional conditioning that happens when affection becomes unpredictable—and why it leaves you doubting your instincts instead of his inconsistency.